Friday, April 1, 2016

My Best April Fool's Joke Ever

This is Walter.

Walter is ... uh, was ... a porcupine.

We watched Walter slowly devour one of the trees on our property. Occassionally, when we’d go snowshoeing in our woods we’d come across him on the ground. He’d scurry to the closest tree to avoid us. Of course “scurry” is a relative term for porcupines. Even I could easily outrun a porcupine.

There was always time to go back to the house and get a camera.

We enjoyed having Walter around, but one March when we returned from a trip away we couldn’t find him hanging out in his usual spots. Maybe he was hiding out under the bunkhouse. Yup, there he was. But wait, he didn’t pay any attention to us hollering at him. He didn’t move. Poor Walter must have succumbed to old age or the freezing temperatures.

What do you do when there’s a frozen porcupine carcass that will stink up the property as soon as the snow melts? Hmm, you grab a pair of gloves and a camera.

We set a stiff Walter up on the Argo, on a sled, and at the front door. I posted pictures of him on Facebook once a week claiming that a real live porcupine could be petted, fed pretzels, and pulled like a kid on a toboggan. People fell for it and told me to watch out for those quills. They recounted their dogs’ unfortunate encounters and they warned me not to let him into the house.

So naturally on April 1st my post told these fictitious events: Walter got into the house! And since we live in a log home it didn’t take but a second for Walter to “scurry” up the round logs and perch wherever he wanted to. I said it took two of us four hours, using ladders and brooms, to get a most unruly animal to exit. Yes, people fell for it. Except for my daughter who knows us too well.

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